From the day we are born, expectations for our lives are already formed. I know, that statement sounds depressing. However, depending on where these preconceived expectations are coming from they can either improve your feeling of self-worth or diminish your ability to live a full and prosperous life. Remember, you have the power to decide who and what you will allow to influence your decisions.
- Outside Expectations
Outside Expectations are merely any task or goal you must accomplish according to someone else standards.
Ask yourself, what are some things you do, but don’t necessarily know why you do them? I’m talking about how you choose to dress; the type of people you choose to date or even the type of jobs you choose to work. Are these choices honestly yours or have you been conditioned to believe they are what you want for your life?
For example, a friend of mine who is a legal assistant told me a story about a judge she used to work for. She said the judge was respectful to others, an average dresser and not much else was interesting about him. Years later, during a conversation with a former colleague she asked about the judge and was told that his wife of 25 years divorced him. The former colleague went on to say, it was probably the best thing that could’ve happen to him. Shortly after the divorce, he dyed his hair a different color, bought a sporty car and happily married again to a person outside his race.
How often do you think people stay in unfulfilled relationships, work in life draining professions or tolerate nerve-racking situations because they are living according to someone else expectations. All because of the fear of disapproving or disappointing friends, family, co-workers and bosses.
- Don’t believe the Factual Fiction
We form opinions and conclusions about how things should be based on our personal experiences. If the experience causes us to feel happy or brings pleasure, then the experience goes into the “Right/Good” category.
But, if the experience brings pain and humiliation then the experience goes into the “Wrong/Bad” category and we don’t want to repeat the feeling again. We even make it a point to warn anyone listening not to make the same mistake.
However, when these personal experiences are shared with others in the form of advice, but presented as “fact”, then that’s when “factual fiction” is in full swing. The person telling these factual fiction stories are only giving you their input because they expect you to believe what they say. And, they expect you to do what they expect you not to do, question their facts.
We all know these facts are actually opinions. Be careful to only accept these factual fictions if they are good advice that will lead you towards the completions of your goals dreams and aspirations.
3. Your Wrong is My Right
There’s a song called “(If loving you is wrong) I don’t want to be right.” Although the song is about cheating this title can be applied to many situations and for a lot of different reasons.
For instance, I love meeting new people and speaking passionately about teaching others how to become more self-aware. If someone was to tell me that I’m wrong and naive to believe that most people are capable of breaking free from self-defeating thoughts then… I don’t want to be right.
If a person has a burning desire to quite their job to become a full time entrepreneur, how many people do you think would tell them they are wrong for wanting to do something so foolish? These people would try to put all types of doubts and uncertainty into the aspiring entrepreneurs mind.
Why? Because they themselves don’t have the same courage to take the leap of faith. Instead, they expect everyone they know and work with to be as afraid of change and doomed to live average lives as they are. Because, staying at a job that no longer suites your life’s purpose would be the right thing to do.
Live your life based on what you want out of it. Not by the expectations of what others want from it.